I still remember how excited I used to get about setting up activities for J. I'd scroll through ideas, carefully put them together, and then eagerly present them, hoping they'd buy me a few minutes to get something—anything—done.

But time and time again, the same thing happened.

After just five minutes (if that), he’d lose interest. And there I was, left staring at an elaborate setup that had taken me longer to prepare than it had entertained him. It became a frustrating cycle—searching for the next engaging activity, setting it up, getting my hopes up, and then feeling that familiar twinge of disappointment when it didn’t hold his attention.

Looking back, I can see why it never quite worked the way I hoped. I was approaching it from one angle—"How long will this keep him busy?"—while J saw it from another—"Mama and I get to do this together!"

I’ll never forget the wonder in his voice the first few times he saw an activity waiting for him.

"Mama, is this for me?" he’d ask. His little face would light up, eyes sparkling. That sparkle has dimmed a little over time. Maybe because he's grown, or maybe because I got so caught up in my own agenda that I forgot what these activities were really about—connection.

There’s no shortage of toddler activity ideas online, many promising to give moms a few minutes of peace. And I get it—I really do. But I’m learning that for me, parenting in these little years is about connecting, not disconnecting. Finding time for myself? That’s a challenge I’ll have to work on in other ways.

So if you've been feeling discouraged about setting up activities that don’t seem to "work," here’s a gentle reminder: maybe the return on investment isn’t in minutes of distraction, but in moments of connection.

And if the elaborate activity setups aren't serving you and your little one, this is permission to let them go. A walk outside, blowing bubbles, a game of hide-and-seek—these simple things can be magical to our kiddos too.

Often, it’s the simplest things that bring the most joy. The magic isn’t in the activity or the toy itself, but in the quality of our connection as we play together.