What Is Your Parenting True North? Defining Guiding Principles for Parenting + FREE Download
Defining Your True North in Parenting
Parenting is a journey filled with decisions big and small, daily and long-term.
Some are logistical, like when to enroll a child in school, or whether to homeschool. Others are deeply personal, like which discipline strategies to use, what style of parenting aligns with your values, or even whether to buy that trendy new educational toy (like that Yoto player I keep seeing mums online rave about my husband remains skeptical, haha).
On a day-to-day basis, these choices can feel endless. On top of decision fatigue, the pressure on what we eventually do decide can be immense. It’s easy to be swayed by what other parents are doing, by the latest parenting trends, or even by the well-meaning comments and advice from family and friends.
In the midst of all the noise, how do we keep grounded and decide? Our parenting true north.
What is Your Parenting True North?
Your true north is the your set of guiding principles in parenting — the values that anchor your decisions so that no matter the external pressures, you always have a steady direction.
It’s the compass that helps you navigate the inevitable crossroads of parenthood with clarity and confidence.
In Our Family: What Our Parenting True North Looks Like
Your parenting true north is the compass that helps you navigate the inevitable crossroads of parenthood with clarity and confidence.
For my family, our true north looks something like this:
Low-screen-living: Not so much because it’s trendy now, but because we want our son to experience life in the present. We want him to engage with the real world: touching, felling, learning through his own lived experiences. We certainly do enjoy some TV time together, and recognize the value of educational programs. But our goal (we have to work at it) is to prioritize learning through real-world interactions and experiences first.
(Low-screen lifestyle applies to adults too—something I desperately need to put into practice)
Slow, unhurried childhood.
We don’t want our kid’s days to be crammed with back-to-back activities, always rushing from one thing to the next. Our weekends are bookmarked by church and community, but beyond that, we keep our schedule simple, allowing space for rest, play, and “boring” unhurried time together. The best fun have come from some of these “boring” moments — like a dance party to Waka Waka where we competed to see who could come up with the silliest dance moves.The security of routine.
A predictable rhythm has worked wonders. We can tell that it helps our son feel safe. It works for us too. Familiar routines provide a sense of stability in a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Our goal is also for routines to cultivate a sense of self-discipline, which we hope will set him up well for his future.Healthy, loving authority.
We want our child to learn what it means to be lovingly guided and nurtured within the safety of boundaries, to understand that authority, when exercised with love and wisdom, is a source of security rather than fear.A deep sense of wonder.
We want to cultivate in our child an awe for the beauty of what God has already created. We want him to delight in the natural world, to treasure simple joys, and to see the richness of life beyond the material and consumeristic.A knowledge of and love for God.
Even at a young age, we believe that the Holy Spirit is at work in our child’s heart to make the mysteries of God known to him in simple ways that he can understand. We want him to be aware of God at work in our lives, of how immensely and unchangingly loved he is by God, and grow to enjoy the freedom of living a life under God’s leadership.
Holding Steady
It’s not always easy to stay true to our guiding principles. There will be moments we doubt ourselves, and wonder if we’re doing the right thing. There will be some tweaks and calibrations we have to make along the way. There will be external voices questioning our choices and internal voices second-guessing them.
But having a clear true north means that, even in those doubt-filled moments, we have something to return to and to guide us back on track.
How Do You Come Up With Your Parenting True North?
It took many rounds of conversations spread out over the years, hard knocks and lessons learned as we experienced life as first-time parents together. We had sometimes heated, but always heartfelt discussions over what mattered most to us, and what we wanted the tone and essence of our family life to be like.
Through these deep and, at times, difficult conversations, we slowly found clarity on what our parenting "True North" would look like.
I’m sharing this resource with you because I want to give you a head-start!
Thinking through your values and goals with your husband in advance (before the day-to-day chaos sets in!) can make quite the difference. It can save you both some heartache and those little bumps along the way that tend to pop up when you’re not quite aligned. At the very least, it makes for a great opportunity to reflect on your parenting styles together.
So I’ve created a free resource that you can download here, It’ll guide you through some of the key things to consider when defining your own Parenting True North.
At the end of the day, your parenting True North will look different from any other family, and that’s okay. What matters is that you and your partner are on the same page, and that you both guide your little ones with alignment and intention.
So take the time now to start the conversation, and let that clarity you have together be the compass that keeps you both grounded and aligned. You’re gonna need it on the wildest days *wink*
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